“Nice wart bar” – do your listings need medical attention?

I had a lot of laughs this week, friends – and most were unintentional. Perhaps the summer sun is causing lethargy. That’s the only excuse I could come up with to explain some of these moronic meanderings. Thanks to Allyson Hoffman for her great contributions from Chicago. 

“Nice wart bar” (Frog Inspection highly recommended)

“Cards for dump included” (Wouldn’t tissue be less irritating?)

“No lame offers accepted” (This must be from the Lame Agent Rule Book…)

“Designd with Fang shui” (From the Caravan Guide For Listings That Bite)

“Pool to dye for!” (Uh-uh – I don’t whip out the Loreal for anyone but Clooney.)

“Perfect for art correction” (Offered by Dominatrix Dorothy)

“Wonderful ocean freezes” ( …Isn’t that a bit hard on your manhood, Siberian Sam?)

“Must sell before labor” (This gives new meaning to “contractual obligations.”)

“Nice bean ceilings” (Are you also serving Chianti, Mr. Lecter?)

“Depressed wood floors” (You’d feel the same way if you had feet in your face every time you were in a horizontal position.)

“High-tech TB equip inc”  (Yipee – I can have my very own sanitarium.)

“Mosaic of glob in foyer” (That’s probably what the seller expelled from his throat after  seeing your spelling abilities.)

“House on end of peninisulim” (My condolences – that sounds terminal…)

“This home offers cure elegance” (Does it have a cure for idiocy?)

“Views of Point Doom” (Point Dume is in Malibu, pal – “Point Doom” is the top of your skull.)

That’s it for this week, folks.  Remember, I’m always lurking with the Blooper Scooper!

This article published on Friday, July 22nd, 2011 at 9:00 am | Contact the editor Tags: featured, MLS bloopers, real estate humor

Category: Editorials, Real Estate

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I’ve garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer’s cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

Email Gwen Banta

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